Routine, Routine, Routine.

On one of my Insta polls, “Routine” came out pretty high on what I should blog about next. For those that know me personally, they’ll verify I like a bit of routine. I have a list for everything. And, I get no greater satisfaction than ticking everything off it. I’m also partial to writing down something I’ve already done, just so I can tick it off. I like being organised, having everything planned and knowing what’s to come.

So, when I was pregnant with Lola, a friend at work suggested I read Gina Ford. Now, in the baby world, Gina Ford is met with mixed reactions. Some swear by her and some strongly disagree with her methods. I decided to read her books and take it all with a pinch of salt – more as a guide for a new mum – one that had no idea what to expect or what to do with an actual, real life baby!

And honestly, it was the best thing I ever did.

Why Routine

It is a well-known fact that babies and children like routine. They thrive on it. In a big, scary new world, it gives them comfort, security and assurance. They know what’s going to happen next and this plays a huge part in their development. These feelings of love and security will stay with a child for many, many years to come.

This aside, it makes your life SO MUCH EASIER. As a first-time mum, I didn’t know the first thing about babies. There were no babies in our family, I had a hundred new gadgets that I didn’t even know how to turn on, I hurt (a lot) and all I wanted to do, as every new mum does, was ensure my little baby was happy and healthy. And sleep.

So, I read the books.

Gina Ford, Who?

The first book I read was “The New Contented Little Baby Book”.

Little did I know this book would soon become my Bible. The basis of the book is simple. As a well-respected maternity nurse of over 12 years, Gina Ford gives her philosophy on simple feeding and sleeping routines. She gives advice based on her own experiences with babies and, the book has fast become one of the bestselling parenting books in the UK. And I can see why.

Gina Ford’s routines match a growing baby’s innate natural rhythms. Because of this, the hunger, over-tiredness and colic that lead to excessive crying (both child and parent!) can be avoided and babies are happy and contented. Babies are also far more likely to develop a good bedtime routine and sleep through the night from an early age – this is good for the baby too, I think!?

Gina’s book covers the following:

• Preparation for the Birth

• How the Routines Evolved

• The Benefits of Routine

• Milk Feeding

• Understanding Sleep

• Establishing a Routine

• Introducing Solids

• Common 1st Year Problems

Dubbed the “Queen of Routine”, Gina has been met by all sorts of criticism for her regimented methods. And yes, if you take everything literally, I can see why many would feel this way. Putting your baby on a cold surface to ensure they’re fully awake for example, was not something we tried. However, for us, it was the approach that worked.

We followed her timetable loosely, around us. It needs to work for you and every family’s day is different. I can honestly say, I never felt cruel or cold following a routine – I had a very happy baby who fed and slept well, so why would I? The hubby and I felt like confident parents (for a change!), we slept well, and we could plan our days around feed times so that all three of us were happy.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a couple of wobbles.

When you so much as mention Gina Ford to some mums, you are met with all sorts of looks and comments. I don’t know any mother who chooses to follow a parenting method with the intention of causing anything but good, however I can certainly say I was not always made to feel this way.

So, about four weeks in, I had a bit of a melt down and a trip to the hairdressers that I will never forget. I decided to stop all routines and “go with Lola”. I set off for my first pampering at the hairdressers since Lola was born. Lucky me. I can honestly say, I don’t think Lola stopped crying for the whole 2 hours – and neither did I! I had absolutely no idea what she wanted. I'd fed her about a hundred times, checked her nappy, cuddled, rocked, bopped, tried to put her to sleep, EVERYTHINGGGG. The hairdresser kindly asked, “Is she tired?”...."I've absolutely no idea, Sue."

I blamed it on “the jabs”.

From that day on, I put my little routine back up on the wall and never looked back. 6 weeks later, at only 10 weeks old, Lola was sleeping through the night. And not 8pm till 4am, 10pm till 5am or even 11pm till 6am, I mean 7pm until 7am, to the tee! Hallelujah! Sleep! I felt like a new woman and my happy, smiley, healthy little baby was back.

To this day, Lola goes to bed at roughly the same time everyday (apart from special occasions, of course), and wakes up at roughly the same time in the mornings. She never wakes up moody or irritable - she's well-rested, refreshed and happy. Which is surely how we should all be when we wake up in the morning, but especially children.

I’m certainly not saying that routine will work for every family, but it worked for us (and definitely suited my clean freak, super organised, list making OCD!) However, I do believe it can work for every baby, if you want it to.

Our 1st Routine

I’m more than happy to share all the routines we did in more detail, but rather than bombard you all, I thought I’d give a little overview, a day in the life if you like, of Lola Obergan at around 2 weeks new….

Before I go on, it’s worth mentioning that it’s important your baby regains his/her birth weight before commencing the routine, that they’re going 2-3 hours between feeds and staying happily awake for a short while afterwards.

7am Feed

Our day starts at 7am, and still does. We made sure Lola was up at around 6:55am, nappy changed and feeding at 7am.

Once the feed had finished, I’d have a little breakfast, play with Lola on her play mat or get her dressed, depending on what we had planned for the day.

By about 8:15am, Lola would start to get a little sleepy (the giveaway two yawns!!) At 8:25am, Lola would be swaddled up like a little cocoon, cuddled and put in her bed (Moses Basket or Cot). Or, if we were going out that morning, bundled up and put in her car seat.

10am/11:15am Feed

At 9:45am, we would unswaddle so she woke up naturally (see, no freezing cold surface!). At 10am, Lola would have her second feed of the day. I wouldn’t give Lola a full feed here, so I could top her up a little closer to her lunchtime nap so she slept for longer then. After the feed, we would have another little play and cuddle until around 11:00am.

At 11:00am, I'd change Lola’s nappy, start winding down and draw her blinds. I would then finish her 10am feed at about 11:15 until 11:30, swaddle and pop her back in her cot for her lunchtime nap.

I found it really beneficial to make use of her cot for her lunchtime nap. The room was dark, quiet, cosy and Lola would sleep soundly for the full 2.5 hours. We found this to be crucial in establishing good sleeping habits as she got older. It also meant Lola got used to sleeping in her cot from an early age and didn’t rely on us too much to get her to sleep! If Lola woke up before 2pm for whatever reason (the postman rung the doorbell (ffs), or she was just having an off day), I would give her half the 2pm feed and settle her back to sleep until 2pm.

2pm Feed

At 2pm, we would unswaddle and again, let her wake up naturally.

It is SO tempting to let them go past 2pm if they’re still asleep but it just causes issues later in the day when you least need it – at bedtime! I would 100% recommend, if you’re going to try a routine, to stick with the rough times as much as possible.

I would change Lola’s nappy and give her the 2pm feed. We would have another little play or a trip out (usually to Costa, obvs), see some friends, go shopping, etc. By 3:30pm, Lola would show signs of being sleepy. So, I’d change her nappy and put her back to bed, travel home, or go for a nice buggy walk.

5pm/6:15pm Feed

This next wake time is essential for a long night’s sleep – for you! Lola would be woken up at 5pm and fed. This would again be a split feed, like the one at 10am. We would have a little play afterwards (usually without her nappy on – she used to absolutely love this!) and get her bath ready.

At 5:45pm, we would have a little bath, baby massage and pop our pjs on so we could start the second part of her 5pm feed at 6:15pm. I would do this feed much like the one before the lunchtime nap – in her dimly lit room, nice and quiet, warm and cosy. At 7pm, we would swaddle Lola and place her in her Moses Basket in our room.

At 9:45pm, we would unswadddle (you get the gist) and have a nice cuddle. It’s important for the baby to be fully awake for this feed so wait until 10pm. After the feed, we would change her nappy, have a little cuddle, swaddle and pop her back in her Moses Basket.

Night Feeds

After following this routine for a couple of days, during the night, Lola only woke once, at around 2:30/3am. We would do the same thing as above…… and then have a lovely sleep until 6:55am.

Once we had mastered the routine and everything was running like clockwork, we moved on to the next routine and then the next routine and then the next routine…. All routines are very similar before you start to panic! There’s just subtle changes to reduce the amount of feeds as baby grows and as sleep times get longer but fewer.

Routine Today

Essentially, Lola followed a routine based on the above until she was 12 months’ old. And really, still does. She wakes up at 7pm, goes to bed at 7:30pm (ish) and sleeps for an hour and a bit sometime between 12 and 2pm – although this is slowly starting to go naturally now as Lola edges closer to her 3rd birthday (eek!).

If anyone wants a more specific routine for a different age bracket, or if you have any questions about the above, I would be more than happy to try and help. I’m not a baby expert but I do love a routine and know this worked for Lola and us. I’ve also seen it work for a lot of other babies and it’s never too late to start. It might be a little more difficult to get the routines established and change behaviours, but with a bit of perseverance, patience and resilience, it can and will happen.

We would definitely follow the routines again for our next baby and have a lot to thank Gina Ford for. Gina - you made a clueless, first time Mum, with an obsessive need for organisation, tidiness and lists, more confident, less tired, calmer and altogether happier. And you made my baby everything you said we could – “A Contented Little Baby”.

We hope you enjoyed reading.

Sophie and Lola

xxx